Just a quick one today to keep you (all 7 of you) updated.
I haven't bought my plane ticket for Japan yet, but it is reserved so as soon as I can part with the 468,000won that will be all done and my pocket will definitely feel lighter. I am getting together with the 2 girls I am going with soon so we can figure out how and where and what we are going to do in this expensive, non tourist-friendly island for 8 days.
Other than that we are switching over to a new schedule very soon for the summer intensives (kids don't have regular school so their bastard parents send them to us for some extra learnin'). I have to come in at 10am, but there are a couple of hour-long breaks in between which is sweet, and we leave at 6pm - which should be nice considering the sun stays about until about 9pm here.
I ate fajitas every day for the past 4 days here and have almost died in the middle of the night due to the horrific dutch ovens (farting under your blankets). Thankfully I finished the last of them this afternoon, so I should get better sleep until I decide to make them again.
Not much planned for this weekend...need to get my hair cut...need to get some new shirts to compliment the ones I've been wearing for the past 2 years +....need to do some food shopping. There is a big party at one of the big foreigner bars for Canada Day so I may also check that out tomorrow night.
miss you.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Not one damn bit!
Nothing much to report from this side of the world as of late.
My school/work has started to make the Korean teachers observe our classes 5 times a month (meaning we will get 'judged' 5 times in total). The Korean teachers sit at the back of the class and mark our skill, attitude and the students response to us. I have made it quite obvious (by whining, moaning, bitching and the odd panic attack) that I do not like this new policy. It is very difficult as is to stand in front of these kids, teaching method or not. I don't use any kind of teaching method. I stand there, try to get the brief 'lesson' across by any means possible (charades, hand gestures, blind rage) - the kids are either good or crazy as usual. Of course, when the teacher is there the kids act completely different - suddenly the drooling psychotic 'special needs' kid will begin to recite poetry and throw me totally off balance (this isn't good as I am usually still a wee bit drunk by the time I come into work anyways!). Also they don't misbehave (which is nice, but then the teacher no longer belives your war stories) and the good kids who attempt English no longer even try once as they are worried to screw up in front of the Korean teacher.
Long story short - I don't like this new 'watch-ken-waste-everyones-time-and-money' policy. Not one damn bit!
Aside from that uhhhhh....I am still trying to plan this Japan trip. It looks like I will now be flying into Osaka (as its cheaper) with a few people, but only if I can take 2 of my holiday days at the end of July - as the girl I am going with has booked an earlier flight. This would give me about 8 days in the wildly expensive country of Japan. Sake it to me! as Austin Powers would say.
The weather will be very humid and rainy here for the next month or so due to the monsoons in China. I am not impressed with this as I already sweat too much as is. My extensive wardrobe of 7 shirts must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis. Yes mom, I will buy clothes when I have the chance (e.g.- when I am not hammered off my ass!)
My buddy Court booked his plane ticket and will be flying in mid-September and leaving the 1st or 2nd of October. It will be very nice to see him, and something to look forward to (like a hooker taking off her white knee-high boots at the end of a shift!).
What else? Uhhh....I have been here for officially 6 months as of the 21st so uh, yeah I am halfway through.
Bye-bye!
My school/work has started to make the Korean teachers observe our classes 5 times a month (meaning we will get 'judged' 5 times in total). The Korean teachers sit at the back of the class and mark our skill, attitude and the students response to us. I have made it quite obvious (by whining, moaning, bitching and the odd panic attack) that I do not like this new policy. It is very difficult as is to stand in front of these kids, teaching method or not. I don't use any kind of teaching method. I stand there, try to get the brief 'lesson' across by any means possible (charades, hand gestures, blind rage) - the kids are either good or crazy as usual. Of course, when the teacher is there the kids act completely different - suddenly the drooling psychotic 'special needs' kid will begin to recite poetry and throw me totally off balance (this isn't good as I am usually still a wee bit drunk by the time I come into work anyways!). Also they don't misbehave (which is nice, but then the teacher no longer belives your war stories) and the good kids who attempt English no longer even try once as they are worried to screw up in front of the Korean teacher.
Long story short - I don't like this new 'watch-ken-waste-everyones-time-and-money' policy. Not one damn bit!
Aside from that uhhhhh....I am still trying to plan this Japan trip. It looks like I will now be flying into Osaka (as its cheaper) with a few people, but only if I can take 2 of my holiday days at the end of July - as the girl I am going with has booked an earlier flight. This would give me about 8 days in the wildly expensive country of Japan. Sake it to me! as Austin Powers would say.
The weather will be very humid and rainy here for the next month or so due to the monsoons in China. I am not impressed with this as I already sweat too much as is. My extensive wardrobe of 7 shirts must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis. Yes mom, I will buy clothes when I have the chance (e.g.- when I am not hammered off my ass!)
My buddy Court booked his plane ticket and will be flying in mid-September and leaving the 1st or 2nd of October. It will be very nice to see him, and something to look forward to (like a hooker taking off her white knee-high boots at the end of a shift!).
What else? Uhhh....I have been here for officially 6 months as of the 21st so uh, yeah I am halfway through.
Bye-bye!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
A week in review.
Heeeeeeeeere's Buddha!
Last week was my birthday, so while the days were spent at work 'teaching' many of the nights were spent 'celebrating' (both left me slurring my speech and needing to pee). For some reason I had at least one kid every single day have some kind of minor breakdown, from a little girl named Kelly weeping sadly because she lost a spelling game to some crazy kid named 'Tiger' coming at me with scissors before proceeding to sit down and shred his pencil to bits cursing my name (I couldn't pry the scissors out of his strong, masculine hands - and I'm not joking about him cursing my name while killing his pencil).
Anyways, on my birthday I came in and no one wished me a 'Happy Birthday Ken!'. I was very sad assuming they'd all forgotten, but of course, as they've done before with others they waited until all the kids were safely locked away in the classrooms before turning off the lights and doing the whole cake and song thing (I'll put a picture of that up later as its on someone elses camera). After work I just wanted to go home (as I had been out late the Tuesday night with Kyle) but after agreeing to go out for some chicken and beer, we ended up at the local foreigner bar U2 drinking lots. After Kyle and Blake and others showed up, I stayed there until about 4am.
An old Ajumma trying to launch a surprise attack at the temple in Kyungju. Her tactic was "If I can't see you than you can't see me". She couldn't see the stairs either!
I felt okay the next morning, but after stupidly having 3 coffees and nothing to eat before I went to work - the coffee mixed in with all the booze made me feel incredibly nauseous (the shakes, clammy hands, spins) and I was just beginning the monster class with crazy, rude kids. As soon as that class ended (longest 50 minutes OF MY LIFE) I explained to our understanding boss (who was hungover when he first interviewed Kyle for his job) who let me go home for a couple of hours - but he asked me to come back if I felt better. After getting sick, I reluctantly returned to work for the remainder of the day.
Now, after feeling this crappy I would usually say "I'm never drinking again", but I knew the following day that my entire work (except the other 2 foreign teachers Nicole and Blake) were going away for the weekend, and I'd already seen our Director walk in with a huge box filled with bottles and bottles of SoJu. All I could do was cry and pray my liver held out.
Just arrived at the temple.
So Saturday morning we met at GnB and drove in a few different cars the 2-hour ride to Kyungju. The 3 Korean teachers I was with played Korean songs and were generally very excited (its not very often some of them get away from their parents for a full day...while I have a full year!). Kyunhju is a very popular spot for all Koreans as it is a gigantic heritage sight, so there are basically just hotels, restaurants, old temples and lots of mountains. After we got there we walked around a very old Buddhist temple built in 750 a.d.
Kyle in front of a bit of the massive temple.
I was awed by the history behind the place but I was more impressed with the staggering number of photos the Korean teachers took of each other. They literally took hundreds of photos each. Some were posed near a pond, others posed in a parking lot. They were just taking pictures for the sheer joy of it.
This little stone pagoda is very famous as it is the exact one on the back of the 10won coin here.
After that we headed to our 'condo' to drop off our stuff (we would stay here for the night). It was really nice compared to the time I went up to Jiri-San and had to sleep in a corner. This place had 2 TVs, 2 huge rooms, and it was new and clean. Instead of biking around like people usually do in Kyungju we decided (after discovering we could get a discount) to go to a local amusement park called Kungju World.
Some of our Korean teachers waiting for fun to be had.
In no way could you compare it to Canada's Wonderland but it wasn't bad. There was a great brand new ride called Phaeton which was really good (like the Top Gun ride at Wonderland). Oddly, lots of times we would just sit in the rides all buckled up waiting for more riders to join, as the place was so quiet and they didn't want to start the ride until it was fuller.
Very typical Korean couple. Many dress exactly the same, it is both sad and funny (like getting caught touching yourself)
The only busy ride was the bumper cars which my work insisted on going several times. One ride made me sick, another was abandoned and near falling apart (its paint was all chipped, metal was protruding out - it was dying). Fun times though.
What kind of park is this!?!
So we finally returned back to our condo and broke out the meat, SoJu, and beer. Other groups away for the weekend were sitting at their tables nearby, but no one talked to each other (they really don't mingle like that here). It was about 7pm when we started eating, and as per the usual eating/drinking marathons that Koreans do everyone was hammered by 8pm. Bottles and bottles of SoJu littered the ground and nauseous looking Koreans were everywhere. Suddenly our director yelled "Noraebahng!" and next thing you know we are all piled into a tiny van careening down a street singing and yelling. At 9pm we get to the place and instantly 5 of our Korean teachers went to the bathroom, threw up, and passed out in the various empty Noraebanhg rooms (there are several inside one place). Drunk but still very much alive Kyle and I started off the night by singing 'Livin' la Vida Loca', and 20 minutes later Mony Mony. By 11:30 only our very drunk (and quite affectionate) director, Kyle, myself and the 2 sober Korean teachers remained standing. One drunk Korean teacher was half-standing and singing - she was a real trooper.
So after we piled everyone into the van and came back Kyle and I ended up drinking and speaking very very broken English with some other drunk Koreans until about 3am as everyone from our staff had fallen asleep.
One of the many times I've looked at a photo and thought, "who the hell was this person?" - one of the late night random people we met.
7:30am the next day, 9 of the Korean teachers who had passed out early were up and talking, cooking very loudly right next to mine and Kyle's heads. You know how in Canada if you wake up early you just quietly sneak outside or continue to lie there until a decent appropriate time? Not here. It was not cool. Also, in the middle of the night I woke up dripping with sweat (I had accidentally laid upon the hottest area of the ondol floor) - ondol is a heated floor - every place has one. So I went outside to get some fresh air and ended up falling asleep for about an hour. I woke up and there was a puppy sleeping right beside me - really weird.
The puppy who fell asleep at my feet - he was delicious mixed with Ramen noodles.
I know what your thinking, your saying, "well you didn't have to stay up so late and drink so much" - yes, we did actually. You see, the whole points of these get-a-ways is for the boss to get hammered with his employees and have a good time so he can brag to other directors about his staff, but every teacher passed out early on - so Kyle and I (who were pacing ourselves) had to stay up with him to ensure a fun, drunken time. Were we successful? What do you think?
I poked and pushed and elbowed but he wouldn't stop snoring.
Anywhoo, I ate some Ramen noodles and rice in the morning - and slept most of the way home.
Blake has dropped out of our August trip to Japan, so it looks like I'll be doing it solo. It is an incredibly expensive country so I am thinking about spending a couple days in Tokyo (one of the most expensive cities in the world- like London) and than taking the train down to Mount Fuji - where you can climb it in about 15 hours. You have to do it in stages because of altitude sickness (you can also spend the night in one of the many 'huts' that cater to the over 200,000 tourists who climb every year).
We'll see.
Thats the price you pay for rolling up your sleeves trying to look strong.
Last week was my birthday, so while the days were spent at work 'teaching' many of the nights were spent 'celebrating' (both left me slurring my speech and needing to pee). For some reason I had at least one kid every single day have some kind of minor breakdown, from a little girl named Kelly weeping sadly because she lost a spelling game to some crazy kid named 'Tiger' coming at me with scissors before proceeding to sit down and shred his pencil to bits cursing my name (I couldn't pry the scissors out of his strong, masculine hands - and I'm not joking about him cursing my name while killing his pencil).
Anyways, on my birthday I came in and no one wished me a 'Happy Birthday Ken!'. I was very sad assuming they'd all forgotten, but of course, as they've done before with others they waited until all the kids were safely locked away in the classrooms before turning off the lights and doing the whole cake and song thing (I'll put a picture of that up later as its on someone elses camera). After work I just wanted to go home (as I had been out late the Tuesday night with Kyle) but after agreeing to go out for some chicken and beer, we ended up at the local foreigner bar U2 drinking lots. After Kyle and Blake and others showed up, I stayed there until about 4am.
An old Ajumma trying to launch a surprise attack at the temple in Kyungju. Her tactic was "If I can't see you than you can't see me". She couldn't see the stairs either!
I felt okay the next morning, but after stupidly having 3 coffees and nothing to eat before I went to work - the coffee mixed in with all the booze made me feel incredibly nauseous (the shakes, clammy hands, spins) and I was just beginning the monster class with crazy, rude kids. As soon as that class ended (longest 50 minutes OF MY LIFE) I explained to our understanding boss (who was hungover when he first interviewed Kyle for his job) who let me go home for a couple of hours - but he asked me to come back if I felt better. After getting sick, I reluctantly returned to work for the remainder of the day.
Now, after feeling this crappy I would usually say "I'm never drinking again", but I knew the following day that my entire work (except the other 2 foreign teachers Nicole and Blake) were going away for the weekend, and I'd already seen our Director walk in with a huge box filled with bottles and bottles of SoJu. All I could do was cry and pray my liver held out.
Just arrived at the temple.
So Saturday morning we met at GnB and drove in a few different cars the 2-hour ride to Kyungju. The 3 Korean teachers I was with played Korean songs and were generally very excited (its not very often some of them get away from their parents for a full day...while I have a full year!). Kyunhju is a very popular spot for all Koreans as it is a gigantic heritage sight, so there are basically just hotels, restaurants, old temples and lots of mountains. After we got there we walked around a very old Buddhist temple built in 750 a.d.
Kyle in front of a bit of the massive temple.
I was awed by the history behind the place but I was more impressed with the staggering number of photos the Korean teachers took of each other. They literally took hundreds of photos each. Some were posed near a pond, others posed in a parking lot. They were just taking pictures for the sheer joy of it.
This little stone pagoda is very famous as it is the exact one on the back of the 10won coin here.
After that we headed to our 'condo' to drop off our stuff (we would stay here for the night). It was really nice compared to the time I went up to Jiri-San and had to sleep in a corner. This place had 2 TVs, 2 huge rooms, and it was new and clean. Instead of biking around like people usually do in Kyungju we decided (after discovering we could get a discount) to go to a local amusement park called Kungju World.
Some of our Korean teachers waiting for fun to be had.
In no way could you compare it to Canada's Wonderland but it wasn't bad. There was a great brand new ride called Phaeton which was really good (like the Top Gun ride at Wonderland). Oddly, lots of times we would just sit in the rides all buckled up waiting for more riders to join, as the place was so quiet and they didn't want to start the ride until it was fuller.
Very typical Korean couple. Many dress exactly the same, it is both sad and funny (like getting caught touching yourself)
The only busy ride was the bumper cars which my work insisted on going several times. One ride made me sick, another was abandoned and near falling apart (its paint was all chipped, metal was protruding out - it was dying). Fun times though.
What kind of park is this!?!
So we finally returned back to our condo and broke out the meat, SoJu, and beer. Other groups away for the weekend were sitting at their tables nearby, but no one talked to each other (they really don't mingle like that here). It was about 7pm when we started eating, and as per the usual eating/drinking marathons that Koreans do everyone was hammered by 8pm. Bottles and bottles of SoJu littered the ground and nauseous looking Koreans were everywhere. Suddenly our director yelled "Noraebahng!" and next thing you know we are all piled into a tiny van careening down a street singing and yelling. At 9pm we get to the place and instantly 5 of our Korean teachers went to the bathroom, threw up, and passed out in the various empty Noraebanhg rooms (there are several inside one place). Drunk but still very much alive Kyle and I started off the night by singing 'Livin' la Vida Loca', and 20 minutes later Mony Mony. By 11:30 only our very drunk (and quite affectionate) director, Kyle, myself and the 2 sober Korean teachers remained standing. One drunk Korean teacher was half-standing and singing - she was a real trooper.
So after we piled everyone into the van and came back Kyle and I ended up drinking and speaking very very broken English with some other drunk Koreans until about 3am as everyone from our staff had fallen asleep.
One of the many times I've looked at a photo and thought, "who the hell was this person?" - one of the late night random people we met.
7:30am the next day, 9 of the Korean teachers who had passed out early were up and talking, cooking very loudly right next to mine and Kyle's heads. You know how in Canada if you wake up early you just quietly sneak outside or continue to lie there until a decent appropriate time? Not here. It was not cool. Also, in the middle of the night I woke up dripping with sweat (I had accidentally laid upon the hottest area of the ondol floor) - ondol is a heated floor - every place has one. So I went outside to get some fresh air and ended up falling asleep for about an hour. I woke up and there was a puppy sleeping right beside me - really weird.
The puppy who fell asleep at my feet - he was delicious mixed with Ramen noodles.
I know what your thinking, your saying, "well you didn't have to stay up so late and drink so much" - yes, we did actually. You see, the whole points of these get-a-ways is for the boss to get hammered with his employees and have a good time so he can brag to other directors about his staff, but every teacher passed out early on - so Kyle and I (who were pacing ourselves) had to stay up with him to ensure a fun, drunken time. Were we successful? What do you think?
I poked and pushed and elbowed but he wouldn't stop snoring.
Anywhoo, I ate some Ramen noodles and rice in the morning - and slept most of the way home.
Blake has dropped out of our August trip to Japan, so it looks like I'll be doing it solo. It is an incredibly expensive country so I am thinking about spending a couple days in Tokyo (one of the most expensive cities in the world- like London) and than taking the train down to Mount Fuji - where you can climb it in about 15 hours. You have to do it in stages because of altitude sickness (you can also spend the night in one of the many 'huts' that cater to the over 200,000 tourists who climb every year).
We'll see.
Thats the price you pay for rolling up your sleeves trying to look strong.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Just some pictures...
Hey, its late Friday night here - and since I am officially 27 and a little hungover, I am going to bed. Saturday I am going away with my work until Sunday, and since my stupid cameras batteries are dead - I won't be taking any pictures.
Here are some photos I got from my work though...
Our whole staff at the time - thats me on my first day (after I took the Santa Claus suit off looking very sad, sweaty and out of place off to the side. I had only arrived days before and had valiantly fought that troublesome can't-stop-the-crapping problem throughout X-mas. ho ho ho.
This was from that recent trip up North where we all got drunk and had to dance.
This is Sky and myself, she was the hot Korean who instructed me to put on the Santa Claus uniform 5 minutes after walking into work for the first time. Beautiful but cruel.
Thats Kelly in the black hat (my favorite girl here), Yulie just behind me, and Monica giving the double peace symbol. A regular Ken sandwich it was!
This was taken on the day of the annual speech contests where the foreign teachers (Waygooks) sit there and judge kids based purely on whether I liked them or not (many children failed). At first it was cute, 6 hours later you wanted to cry.
2 hours into it and a whole different batch of kids - if you look closely you can see that each teacher is trying miserably to hide their boredom (I am also leaning forward due to a surprise attack from the nefarious Diarrhea Fairy)
Thats Wendy with Santa Claus. She doesn't speak a word of English and since I don't speak Korean we usually just poke each other (always ending with me trying desperately to cop a feel)
The first time some of the girls posed with me. Since I was trying to be the "laid back new guy" I just kept yelling Ho! Ho! Ho! to look like I was playful. Instead I frightened them. They are used to me now though, so my regular hello of "Ho! Ho! Ho!" is tolerated better. Notice the Korean version of Tiny Tim off to the left. Like many children here she had recently been hit by a car driving down the sidewalk. Really sweet smart girl.
This is a girl named Michelle who wouldn't leave me alone. She doesn't go to our school anymore and isn't missed. The one Korean teacher standing behind me near the door looks and acts a lot like Satan - she is also gone now
These are 2 little girls I've taught for the past couple of months. The one standing insists on being called 'Beronica' (not Veronica) and the little one kneeling is named Emily. The 1st time I taught her she didn't really care for me much, but the 2nd time I walked into the classroom she was heaving sobbing because one of the boys had made fun of her - after she was taken into the hallway by a Korean teacher to be comforted I suppose she must have heard me screeching at the class like a hooker with a bee sting for she is now the only student to consistently search me out every day to say hello, sit on my lap and do her homework (or just to pass the time we look at pictures on the computer - her favorite one is of me drinking SoJu alone). She can get a little attention-hogging in class though, as she knows full well that she is one of my favorites. Actually, she really reminds me of Sophia as well - sensitive, cute, not an evil bone in her body, but difficult sometimes - the only difference here is that I can't hit Emily when she annoys me! Ha! Ha! Ha! Abuse!
Uhhhh....not much to say about this one.
Group photo up north at the GnB picnic.
My hand is moments away from pushing the kids hand violently away from my beard as he was in the process of putting some chewed up blue gum into it. I was too late, so had blue gum in the beard for a couple of hours longer.
Lucas is the fat one behind Eric's hand. Its too bad you can't see his face as it is in a perpetual scowl and looks hilarious. Brian is the one off to the right. He does a great impression of an old man asking for money.
Here are some photos I got from my work though...
Our whole staff at the time - thats me on my first day (after I took the Santa Claus suit off looking very sad, sweaty and out of place off to the side. I had only arrived days before and had valiantly fought that troublesome can't-stop-the-crapping problem throughout X-mas. ho ho ho.
This was from that recent trip up North where we all got drunk and had to dance.
This is Sky and myself, she was the hot Korean who instructed me to put on the Santa Claus uniform 5 minutes after walking into work for the first time. Beautiful but cruel.
Thats Kelly in the black hat (my favorite girl here), Yulie just behind me, and Monica giving the double peace symbol. A regular Ken sandwich it was!
This was taken on the day of the annual speech contests where the foreign teachers (Waygooks) sit there and judge kids based purely on whether I liked them or not (many children failed). At first it was cute, 6 hours later you wanted to cry.
2 hours into it and a whole different batch of kids - if you look closely you can see that each teacher is trying miserably to hide their boredom (I am also leaning forward due to a surprise attack from the nefarious Diarrhea Fairy)
Thats Wendy with Santa Claus. She doesn't speak a word of English and since I don't speak Korean we usually just poke each other (always ending with me trying desperately to cop a feel)
The first time some of the girls posed with me. Since I was trying to be the "laid back new guy" I just kept yelling Ho! Ho! Ho! to look like I was playful. Instead I frightened them. They are used to me now though, so my regular hello of "Ho! Ho! Ho!" is tolerated better. Notice the Korean version of Tiny Tim off to the left. Like many children here she had recently been hit by a car driving down the sidewalk. Really sweet smart girl.
This is a girl named Michelle who wouldn't leave me alone. She doesn't go to our school anymore and isn't missed. The one Korean teacher standing behind me near the door looks and acts a lot like Satan - she is also gone now
These are 2 little girls I've taught for the past couple of months. The one standing insists on being called 'Beronica' (not Veronica) and the little one kneeling is named Emily. The 1st time I taught her she didn't really care for me much, but the 2nd time I walked into the classroom she was heaving sobbing because one of the boys had made fun of her - after she was taken into the hallway by a Korean teacher to be comforted I suppose she must have heard me screeching at the class like a hooker with a bee sting for she is now the only student to consistently search me out every day to say hello, sit on my lap and do her homework (or just to pass the time we look at pictures on the computer - her favorite one is of me drinking SoJu alone). She can get a little attention-hogging in class though, as she knows full well that she is one of my favorites. Actually, she really reminds me of Sophia as well - sensitive, cute, not an evil bone in her body, but difficult sometimes - the only difference here is that I can't hit Emily when she annoys me! Ha! Ha! Ha! Abuse!
Uhhhh....not much to say about this one.
Group photo up north at the GnB picnic.
My hand is moments away from pushing the kids hand violently away from my beard as he was in the process of putting some chewed up blue gum into it. I was too late, so had blue gum in the beard for a couple of hours longer.
Lucas is the fat one behind Eric's hand. Its too bad you can't see his face as it is in a perpetual scowl and looks hilarious. Brian is the one off to the right. He does a great impression of an old man asking for money.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
The day before Monday
A great example of why so many companies refuse to sell their products in Korea.
The weekends over. Thats pretty sad.
As you know drinking makes me pretty depressed - and after a night of drinking I feel so crappy about everything that the only thing that seems to make things okay is another drink. Tis a vicious cycle! I am the king around here of saying, "I am never drinking again. No, I mean it. Never" as I struggle to open a bottle of cheap wine.
Usually after saying this I find myself with SoJu dripping off my chin trying to explain the hardships of turning 27 to anyone who will listen (usually the men at naked fun spa time swim away). Since SoJu is so cheap, yelling "the next round of SoJu is on me" isn't followed by cheers (its usually jeers or 'stupid old cheap bastard')
So Friday night I just wanted to stay in and relax (as Tuesday night was lots of drinking), but after dinner Kevin and I and a couple of friends from my area went to a nearby bar, next thing you know we're at a popular foreigner bar - Kevin leaves - and the next thing you know we're at some place called Club Neo with 4 of my Korean co-workers and I am shooting pool against some silent Korean gangster while his English-speaking assistant translated his grunts. I remember he insisted on playing me alone. I assume this was because he saw me making insane shots while obviously drunk (using the pool cue to see "how low I can go" and promptly falling over). They wanted to play for $100 a ball, but apparently "Are you fuc*ing crazy?! Look at how I dress?! Look at me!" works in every language. He beat me with only one of my balls left on the table - but I left with the 2 I came in with - so fun was had by all! The next thing you know I am slurring my way to ordering a Big Mac combo (they call it 'set' here) with a few of the guys from my area at 5am. Next thing you know I wake up with a stinky dry mouth, my man-purse in bed with me and the plastic McDonalds cup I had used safely wrapped in a spare t-shirt.
Though I wanted nothing more than to just rest all day I had told Kevin a week prior that I would go out to dinner with him and a couple of Korean guys he'd met at his gym. Since bailing out on Kevin is like Michael Douglas being told breakfast wasn't being served anymore in the movie Falling Down (to a violent, yet sociologically correct outcome) I lay in bed watching Discovery Channel all day and ordered my liver (and bowels) to stop crying. "Once more unto the breach old friends!" I cried moments after meeting up with Kevin, fully expecting another hard night of boozing. Instead it turned out to be just Kevin, myself, and a fellow named Mr. Kim (the 27-year old manager of Kevins gym - a very friendly guy who is married with one baby). We went out for fatty bacon, nursed a couple small glasses of beer and talked about anything we could really think of. Kevin used his Korean (which is improving daily), I used my English (which is regressing hourly) and Mr. Kim spoke a fair bit of English (far more than I thought he would be able to).
Next thing you know I wake up and its Sunday. Dammit.
June 14th I turn 27. Joy.
The weekends over. Thats pretty sad.
As you know drinking makes me pretty depressed - and after a night of drinking I feel so crappy about everything that the only thing that seems to make things okay is another drink. Tis a vicious cycle! I am the king around here of saying, "I am never drinking again. No, I mean it. Never" as I struggle to open a bottle of cheap wine.
Usually after saying this I find myself with SoJu dripping off my chin trying to explain the hardships of turning 27 to anyone who will listen (usually the men at naked fun spa time swim away). Since SoJu is so cheap, yelling "the next round of SoJu is on me" isn't followed by cheers (its usually jeers or 'stupid old cheap bastard')
So Friday night I just wanted to stay in and relax (as Tuesday night was lots of drinking), but after dinner Kevin and I and a couple of friends from my area went to a nearby bar, next thing you know we're at a popular foreigner bar - Kevin leaves - and the next thing you know we're at some place called Club Neo with 4 of my Korean co-workers and I am shooting pool against some silent Korean gangster while his English-speaking assistant translated his grunts. I remember he insisted on playing me alone. I assume this was because he saw me making insane shots while obviously drunk (using the pool cue to see "how low I can go" and promptly falling over). They wanted to play for $100 a ball, but apparently "Are you fuc*ing crazy?! Look at how I dress?! Look at me!" works in every language. He beat me with only one of my balls left on the table - but I left with the 2 I came in with - so fun was had by all! The next thing you know I am slurring my way to ordering a Big Mac combo (they call it 'set' here) with a few of the guys from my area at 5am. Next thing you know I wake up with a stinky dry mouth, my man-purse in bed with me and the plastic McDonalds cup I had used safely wrapped in a spare t-shirt.
Though I wanted nothing more than to just rest all day I had told Kevin a week prior that I would go out to dinner with him and a couple of Korean guys he'd met at his gym. Since bailing out on Kevin is like Michael Douglas being told breakfast wasn't being served anymore in the movie Falling Down (to a violent, yet sociologically correct outcome) I lay in bed watching Discovery Channel all day and ordered my liver (and bowels) to stop crying. "Once more unto the breach old friends!" I cried moments after meeting up with Kevin, fully expecting another hard night of boozing. Instead it turned out to be just Kevin, myself, and a fellow named Mr. Kim (the 27-year old manager of Kevins gym - a very friendly guy who is married with one baby). We went out for fatty bacon, nursed a couple small glasses of beer and talked about anything we could really think of. Kevin used his Korean (which is improving daily), I used my English (which is regressing hourly) and Mr. Kim spoke a fair bit of English (far more than I thought he would be able to).
Next thing you know I wake up and its Sunday. Dammit.
June 14th I turn 27. Joy.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Lee. Fann Lee.
This is not Fann Lee. This is a happy drunk Korean man I saw passed out on a bench at 1am a couple of weeks ago. This is actually a fairly common sight. He is the 2nd person I've seen smiling while passed out.
So the past weekend was very uneventful (as usual).
During an emergency on Sunday I was forced to use a squat toilet for the first time - the nerve, the balance, and the leg power it requires not to just give up and fall over is unreal. I imagine it gets easier with practice, but it was still quite the accomplishment - feeling like a young boy who has just used the big toilet for the first time I wanted to run out and find the nearest adult to let him know how proud I was of myself. But alas, my legs were far too weak from the exertion it took to stay in this military style position so instead I just sat exhausted on a bench and had some ice cream (inciting a 2nd trip to the squat toilets).
I was also forced to pay for toilet paper. Imagine freaking out when you need a quarter for the phone and times that by a million - hands shaking, fumbling around searching for the proper coins - very scary.
So my usual poo fiasco's aside, I paid the down payment for my trip to China at the end of September, so thats one thing out of the way. Now I just have to give them all of my passport information (and Kevins, and my buddy Court who is coming in September to visit!)
Today was memorial day in Korea so I had the day off - which was good considering all the beer I drank last night.
I also got my hair cut at that same place where as soon as you walk through the sliding doors you can literally hear the scissors drop as customers and stylists stare at you in amazement. One of the stylists assistants expression kind of read, "he's - he's not Korean, so what is he? His skin is so sickly and pale, his eyes a dull blue...I think I love him, but how? it is wrong but feels so right".
Anyways I just said 'short', pointing all around my head and moments later the faux-hawk disappeared back to the ground from whence it came. After I was finished they all gathered by the desk as I shuffled through my man purse to find the money to pay, there was 8 of them just staring at me about 2 feet away, it was incredibly awkward. Also, he cut my hair quite short so I think I look a little lesbianish.
The big news is that I finally got a phone...but I went through hell and back to get it. This where Fann Lee comes in.
There are basically 2 ways you get a phone here. One way as far as I know, is to put down a $200 deposit and pay a monthly fee - the other is to buy a used phone off of a foreigner who is leaving and do a pay-as-you-go thing whereby you put money on the phone and get phone stores to top it up when you need to. Air time is very expensive so I just planned to text.
For the past 2 months I have been looking through the classifieds for a phone on a website that is only about my city Busan. I saw that a girl was selling her phone for $50, and after haggling her down to $40, we decided to meet up a few days later at Starbucks. When I got there though she told me that the phone was a monthly plan, but her Half-Chinese friend (its important to tell you that shes Asian, I'm not just describing her) offered to sell me her used phone for $20, and it was a pay as you go - but I had to wait until Saturday. Sure, thats great!
So Saturday rolled around and she sent me a last minute email explaining how she won't be able to give me the phone until Sunday. Fine. Sunday night comes and I get an email telling me that she missed her train and doesn't have her other phone yet so we would have to meet Monday morning. Monday morning comes and with no email I go downstairs to meet her at 10am (she lives in my building) - 10:50 and shes still not there so I run upstairs hoping that shes sent me some kind of email - she had, now switching it to Tuesday at 10am. Fine. 10am Tuesday it is. I get downstairs at 10:04 and no ones there. So after waiting for 20 minutes I got annoyed and was on my way upstairs when she came out of another elevator.
Un-named girl- Were you waiting long?
Ken- Since 10
Un-named girl- (thinking shes caught me in a trap) Ha! I was here at 10!
Ken- (not impressed and showing it) Fine, 10:04.
I didn't bother to say, "You couldn't wait for 5 minutes you inconsiderate cow? And why make me wait for 20 more minutes?!". I just wanted her phone, not an apology.
So after making small talk we headed off to this phone place nearby as we had to switch the registration on the phone from her name to my name, an easy process (I was told) - I would get a new number, as she wanted to keep her old one. Fine. I don't care. So once we get to the store she suddenly pulls out a black cellphone and asks excitedly if I want to buy the used black cellphone instead. Confused I asked her why she was buying one used cellphone for another (had she dropped the one I wanted to buy in the toilet after a night of Indian food?) - pausing far too long to make anything excuse remotely believable she explained that her friend was very ill and needed money so she, being gracious, bought the phone off of him for $90 - and was now willing to sell it to me for $90. She was shocked that her practiced sales-pitch didn't snag me as she quickly asked me confused and annoyed, "well, why not? Are you trying to save money or something?".
We were then informed that we had to go to a different store (a short cab ride away) to get the registrations changed - so off we went to a huge beautiful place that sold high-end cell phones (many Koreans will happily spend over $500 on a new phone every few months - it is a huge status symbol here). The sales people, unimpressed with our crappy used phones and taken aback at the girls rude aggressiveness tried to be as helpful as possible. It was at this point that she informed me that the text messaging on my phone wouldn't work unless I always left one message in the inbox, some other things problems I didn't catch - and most importantly that the phone had been registered under a Chinese girls name for a very long time and that she never had never got it switched to her name ("it was the phone companies fault" she whined pathetically several times), but would use the girls Chinese name when she would put money on the phone (you have to give your name when doing so). "I've never had a problem though". "Yes, because you are a Chinese girl" I told her angrily. "Are you okay?" she inquired after seeing me put my hands on my face and groan. "Bet your glad I'm here to help you with all this registration stuff eh newbie?" (she arrived in August).
So after handing over our Alien Registration Cards it came as no surprise when we were informed that the phone could not be put in my name, as neither of us were the actual person "Fann Lee". "Don't worry" the girl assured me while they put her name on the black phone, "just say her name confidently and they probably won't even question you". "riiiiiiight..." I replied a la Dr.Evil. So while the exasperated employees were working on the phones and hating foreigners more and more she offered me the black phone one more time ('you can send multiple texts!') and then told me that since she had just put money on my phone I owed her an additional $20.
With a patronizing stare and rolling eyes, I refused to give her any money as there was no way to see how much money was actually on the phone - and she had been texting and calling on it since I met her that morning. So after a few more annoyances she got her name registered on the 'new' phone and I officially became "Fann Lee" covert Chinese cell phone user. Needing to go and work out so I wouldn't kill her she explained how since she had gone through so much trouble over the past few days to get me the phone quickly that she hadn't the time to copy all of the addresses and numbers from the old phone (now mine) to the new one. So she agreed to drop off my phone in an hour after she had transferred over all of her unfortunate contacts in my mailbox (I told her I didn't know where the keys were, but managed to find them later and unlock it so she could just open it and drop my phone in and not have to fit it through the little slot). Of course it wasn't there by the time I left for work but I was told in a brief email 2 hours later that she was again too busy to change the numbers, but would get me the phone before she went to work at 4pm (her work had recently fired her for incompetence I was later told by co-workers)...oh and she also informed me that my mailbox WAS open! So she basically went to my floor (she was on 11, I'm on 19), phone in hand - opened my mailbox but decided for some unknown reason not to put it in.
Since I was now at work I couldn't scream when I opened my Gmail to be greeted with a 2nd email from her telling me to now 'confidently' "expect the phone at 10:45pm". So I sat there and thought about how much money she was wasting on my phone while I was at work (I had put an additional $40 on it before I became Fann Lee). 10:45pm rolled by and as I had been sitting outside of my apartment building drinking beer I kept running up to check to see if she had dropped it off in my mailbox whilst taking a quick wee.
No phone. Coming downstairs I ran into her and her friends leaving the convenience store below my apartment, and being drunk I bellowed, "where's my phone!?" to which she snottily replied "can you just wait for 20 minutes, I need to copy the numbers and addresses still - come up to mu apartment". "No, you come down here" I argued drunkenly.
20 minutes later I was banging on her apartment door and had to sit and talk to her unfortunate co-workers for an additional 20 minutes while she wrote her lucky friends numbers down by hand. As I walked out the door she actually offered me the black cell phone once more, and now for only $60! So aside from being an inconsiderate, annoying liar she was also a scammer (bought it for $90 my ass). What goes around comes around I reminded myself.
Triumphantly joining my beer friends back downstairs, phone held high I cheerfully answered the phone when Kyle (sitting across from me, beer in hand) called me to say "hello" - but before I could reply my phone suddenly said in a loud female voice (everyone could hear) - "charge the battery" and then it died moments later.
Today I have received multiple texts and calls from her contacts. If I didn't want to save money and didn't mind spending cash on the air-time I would tell them stories.
Me so happy.
So the past weekend was very uneventful (as usual).
During an emergency on Sunday I was forced to use a squat toilet for the first time - the nerve, the balance, and the leg power it requires not to just give up and fall over is unreal. I imagine it gets easier with practice, but it was still quite the accomplishment - feeling like a young boy who has just used the big toilet for the first time I wanted to run out and find the nearest adult to let him know how proud I was of myself. But alas, my legs were far too weak from the exertion it took to stay in this military style position so instead I just sat exhausted on a bench and had some ice cream (inciting a 2nd trip to the squat toilets).
I was also forced to pay for toilet paper. Imagine freaking out when you need a quarter for the phone and times that by a million - hands shaking, fumbling around searching for the proper coins - very scary.
So my usual poo fiasco's aside, I paid the down payment for my trip to China at the end of September, so thats one thing out of the way. Now I just have to give them all of my passport information (and Kevins, and my buddy Court who is coming in September to visit!)
Today was memorial day in Korea so I had the day off - which was good considering all the beer I drank last night.
I also got my hair cut at that same place where as soon as you walk through the sliding doors you can literally hear the scissors drop as customers and stylists stare at you in amazement. One of the stylists assistants expression kind of read, "he's - he's not Korean, so what is he? His skin is so sickly and pale, his eyes a dull blue...I think I love him, but how? it is wrong but feels so right".
Anyways I just said 'short', pointing all around my head and moments later the faux-hawk disappeared back to the ground from whence it came. After I was finished they all gathered by the desk as I shuffled through my man purse to find the money to pay, there was 8 of them just staring at me about 2 feet away, it was incredibly awkward. Also, he cut my hair quite short so I think I look a little lesbianish.
The big news is that I finally got a phone...but I went through hell and back to get it. This where Fann Lee comes in.
There are basically 2 ways you get a phone here. One way as far as I know, is to put down a $200 deposit and pay a monthly fee - the other is to buy a used phone off of a foreigner who is leaving and do a pay-as-you-go thing whereby you put money on the phone and get phone stores to top it up when you need to. Air time is very expensive so I just planned to text.
For the past 2 months I have been looking through the classifieds for a phone on a website that is only about my city Busan. I saw that a girl was selling her phone for $50, and after haggling her down to $40, we decided to meet up a few days later at Starbucks. When I got there though she told me that the phone was a monthly plan, but her Half-Chinese friend (its important to tell you that shes Asian, I'm not just describing her) offered to sell me her used phone for $20, and it was a pay as you go - but I had to wait until Saturday. Sure, thats great!
So Saturday rolled around and she sent me a last minute email explaining how she won't be able to give me the phone until Sunday. Fine. Sunday night comes and I get an email telling me that she missed her train and doesn't have her other phone yet so we would have to meet Monday morning. Monday morning comes and with no email I go downstairs to meet her at 10am (she lives in my building) - 10:50 and shes still not there so I run upstairs hoping that shes sent me some kind of email - she had, now switching it to Tuesday at 10am. Fine. 10am Tuesday it is. I get downstairs at 10:04 and no ones there. So after waiting for 20 minutes I got annoyed and was on my way upstairs when she came out of another elevator.
Un-named girl- Were you waiting long?
Ken- Since 10
Un-named girl- (thinking shes caught me in a trap) Ha! I was here at 10!
Ken- (not impressed and showing it) Fine, 10:04.
I didn't bother to say, "You couldn't wait for 5 minutes you inconsiderate cow? And why make me wait for 20 more minutes?!". I just wanted her phone, not an apology.
So after making small talk we headed off to this phone place nearby as we had to switch the registration on the phone from her name to my name, an easy process (I was told) - I would get a new number, as she wanted to keep her old one. Fine. I don't care. So once we get to the store she suddenly pulls out a black cellphone and asks excitedly if I want to buy the used black cellphone instead. Confused I asked her why she was buying one used cellphone for another (had she dropped the one I wanted to buy in the toilet after a night of Indian food?) - pausing far too long to make anything excuse remotely believable she explained that her friend was very ill and needed money so she, being gracious, bought the phone off of him for $90 - and was now willing to sell it to me for $90. She was shocked that her practiced sales-pitch didn't snag me as she quickly asked me confused and annoyed, "well, why not? Are you trying to save money or something?".
We were then informed that we had to go to a different store (a short cab ride away) to get the registrations changed - so off we went to a huge beautiful place that sold high-end cell phones (many Koreans will happily spend over $500 on a new phone every few months - it is a huge status symbol here). The sales people, unimpressed with our crappy used phones and taken aback at the girls rude aggressiveness tried to be as helpful as possible. It was at this point that she informed me that the text messaging on my phone wouldn't work unless I always left one message in the inbox, some other things problems I didn't catch - and most importantly that the phone had been registered under a Chinese girls name for a very long time and that she never had never got it switched to her name ("it was the phone companies fault" she whined pathetically several times), but would use the girls Chinese name when she would put money on the phone (you have to give your name when doing so). "I've never had a problem though". "Yes, because you are a Chinese girl" I told her angrily. "Are you okay?" she inquired after seeing me put my hands on my face and groan. "Bet your glad I'm here to help you with all this registration stuff eh newbie?" (she arrived in August).
So after handing over our Alien Registration Cards it came as no surprise when we were informed that the phone could not be put in my name, as neither of us were the actual person "Fann Lee". "Don't worry" the girl assured me while they put her name on the black phone, "just say her name confidently and they probably won't even question you". "riiiiiiight..." I replied a la Dr.Evil. So while the exasperated employees were working on the phones and hating foreigners more and more she offered me the black phone one more time ('you can send multiple texts!') and then told me that since she had just put money on my phone I owed her an additional $20.
With a patronizing stare and rolling eyes, I refused to give her any money as there was no way to see how much money was actually on the phone - and she had been texting and calling on it since I met her that morning. So after a few more annoyances she got her name registered on the 'new' phone and I officially became "Fann Lee" covert Chinese cell phone user. Needing to go and work out so I wouldn't kill her she explained how since she had gone through so much trouble over the past few days to get me the phone quickly that she hadn't the time to copy all of the addresses and numbers from the old phone (now mine) to the new one. So she agreed to drop off my phone in an hour after she had transferred over all of her unfortunate contacts in my mailbox (I told her I didn't know where the keys were, but managed to find them later and unlock it so she could just open it and drop my phone in and not have to fit it through the little slot). Of course it wasn't there by the time I left for work but I was told in a brief email 2 hours later that she was again too busy to change the numbers, but would get me the phone before she went to work at 4pm (her work had recently fired her for incompetence I was later told by co-workers)...oh and she also informed me that my mailbox WAS open! So she basically went to my floor (she was on 11, I'm on 19), phone in hand - opened my mailbox but decided for some unknown reason not to put it in.
Since I was now at work I couldn't scream when I opened my Gmail to be greeted with a 2nd email from her telling me to now 'confidently' "expect the phone at 10:45pm". So I sat there and thought about how much money she was wasting on my phone while I was at work (I had put an additional $40 on it before I became Fann Lee). 10:45pm rolled by and as I had been sitting outside of my apartment building drinking beer I kept running up to check to see if she had dropped it off in my mailbox whilst taking a quick wee.
No phone. Coming downstairs I ran into her and her friends leaving the convenience store below my apartment, and being drunk I bellowed, "where's my phone!?" to which she snottily replied "can you just wait for 20 minutes, I need to copy the numbers and addresses still - come up to mu apartment". "No, you come down here" I argued drunkenly.
20 minutes later I was banging on her apartment door and had to sit and talk to her unfortunate co-workers for an additional 20 minutes while she wrote her lucky friends numbers down by hand. As I walked out the door she actually offered me the black cell phone once more, and now for only $60! So aside from being an inconsiderate, annoying liar she was also a scammer (bought it for $90 my ass). What goes around comes around I reminded myself.
Triumphantly joining my beer friends back downstairs, phone held high I cheerfully answered the phone when Kyle (sitting across from me, beer in hand) called me to say "hello" - but before I could reply my phone suddenly said in a loud female voice (everyone could hear) - "charge the battery" and then it died moments later.
Today I have received multiple texts and calls from her contacts. If I didn't want to save money and didn't mind spending cash on the air-time I would tell them stories.
Me so happy.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Bi Bim Bap
So here I am sitting in my fudgies (underwear) on a warm Saturday afternoon, slightly hungover from yet another Friday of SoJu drinking.
Not much happened this week. We got our new monthly schedule, one of the Korean teachers left for another job in Seoul (it was the teacher who made me dress like Santa Claus on my 2nd day here), and I am still considering shaving my head (not too close, but enough that it may help me to not drench every shirt with sweat this summer).
We get Wednesday off next week which will be really nice, as it is smack in the middle of the work-week. Perhaps I should sleep all day? That would be pleasant. Uhhhh....what else to talk about? I am trying to choose places to go on vacation and it is driving me crazy (crazier). It looks like the end of September during a 3-day vacation (technically 5 as it is Sat/Sun/Mon/Tue/Wed) that everyone gets (Chuseok) I will be going to China to see the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, etc. But I don't know what I'll do during the summer when my work 'shuts down' for 3 days. Anyways, I'll think about it and get back to you.
Oh screw this, I'll write a longer blog tomorrow - I'm hungry and feel like some Bi Bim Bap.
Not much happened this week. We got our new monthly schedule, one of the Korean teachers left for another job in Seoul (it was the teacher who made me dress like Santa Claus on my 2nd day here), and I am still considering shaving my head (not too close, but enough that it may help me to not drench every shirt with sweat this summer).
We get Wednesday off next week which will be really nice, as it is smack in the middle of the work-week. Perhaps I should sleep all day? That would be pleasant. Uhhhh....what else to talk about? I am trying to choose places to go on vacation and it is driving me crazy (crazier). It looks like the end of September during a 3-day vacation (technically 5 as it is Sat/Sun/Mon/Tue/Wed) that everyone gets (Chuseok) I will be going to China to see the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, etc. But I don't know what I'll do during the summer when my work 'shuts down' for 3 days. Anyways, I'll think about it and get back to you.
Oh screw this, I'll write a longer blog tomorrow - I'm hungry and feel like some Bi Bim Bap.
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