Bueller? Bueller?

Apparently every month our work goes out for dinner and gets drunk. Last night was that night. We were celebrating the head teachers birthday and she had chosen some raw fish place. Now when they say raw fish they don't mean sushi or sashimi - they mean that it was taken from the sea a few hours before - kept in a large tank with other unidentifiable fish (Korea isn't all about eating salmon and cod, these are freaky looking monster-fish). They are then pulled from this large tank (which you pass by when you enter) gutted and thrown prettily on a large plate seconds later. The 'appetizers' were several small plates of 'fish'. They all tasted disgusting (but were very colorful) and once in my mouth felt like, uh....whats a good description?...barf perhaps? No, its like when you eat some fat on a piece of steak - but imagine it was like a large chunk of fat, but sea-tasting, slippery and shiny. And some parts were really tough to chew while other spots (just centimeters away) were almost liquid. I did have real oysters though (compared to the canned version) so that was almost tasty. They ordered 1 or 2 fish to be grilled (for the weak like me) but when they brought them out they still had their heads so I just picked at it (and whispered to it how I was sorry).

Thankfully there was lots of peer pressure to drink the SoJu-shot-in-a-beer going around so the taste of the sea slowly died along with my liver.

As the night progressed a couple of the Korean teachers were stumbling around and near passing out (dessert!). No, no - I was the one stumbling around - or it was everyone else stumbling around and I was the one not swaying. Anyways, I had eaten a large meal right before we went out so the SoJu and beer didn't kill me right away. It just took away some inhibitions so when I was asked to sing some Britney Spears I gladly did so. This time around I flexed my 'muscles' occasionally while I serenaded the drunk Koreans so I could get a cheer and feel like a big man (who sits down when he pees).

Next thing I know we are stumbling off to a Norebahng to sing some Karaoke. They have a bunch of rooms which are pretty large and have wrap around sofas. In the middle there is a gigantic table - on which sat about 50 large bottles of Korean beer (Hite!). There is a super large TV screen at the front that shows the words as you are supposed to sing them - for some reason there was a video of a Korean man singing that never left. it just made the night all the more strange.

So we drank lots more and I kind of recall singing a Stevie Wonder song (I just called to say I love you) with a new male co-worker named Terry (who could actually sing) and some other song (again with Terry) that had almost everyone (about 18 people or so) surrounding us while we sang and danced. It was very much like that part in Ferris Buellers Day Off when he sang Twist and Shout on the large float. I kept trying to find that song after but couldn't as I was often pulled up to sing some Korean duet - since it was in Korean though I just hummed along and shook my ass to draw attention away from my voice.

It worked!

Suddenly its morning, my morning breath smells like my tongue died overnight and quickly rotted. My baby finger is swollen and feels almost broken (it isn't mom so unpack the bags and put the emergency 'milk' back in the fridge). All in all though I survived.

Heres a video. I think it speaks for itself. I would've filmed more but as I've mentioned I'm an idiot and assumed that batteries were charged.



And yes, you have to chew them really well or they'll stick to your tongue (like they did to the plate and the table if you dropped them like I did)

With a little help from Kevin

Wow, just goes to show what a little effort can do! Kevin, unimpressed with my non-ability to make myself into a convincing Klingon, went and did it for me.

Kevin's version.


My shitty diseased skinned version.

uh....Wednesday! (over the hump!)

What can I say other than its the middle of the week and Friday is fast approaching?

I've finally learned the Korean alphabet Hangul. "Created" by King Sejong (aka- Sejong the Great) in the Joseon Dynasty the alphabet is remarkably easy to learn as it is completely phonetic. In fact, King Sejong was so proud of the alphabets simplicity that he often boasted that a clever person could learn hangul in a morning, and even a foolish person could understand it after only 10 days of study!

It took me 3 months and 1 week! What do you say to that King? Oh wait...nothing! Because your dead!

In other news, the one Korean food I can order thanks to its easy name (Bi Bim Bap) is making me fat. It is cheap, readily available and from sitting down at your table to paying for your bill usually takes all of 5 minutes (for those of us who don't bother chewing). Basically it consists of some vegetables with a fried egg slapped on top and slathered with red pepper paste (Korea's equivalent to Mayonnaise) chucked on lots of rice. And rice is in EVERYTHING here. And it goes right to my love handles.

When I was in Toronto and doing a whole lotta nothing with my life (from graduation onwards) I started eating Sushi and Thai food so I would feel more like a Renaissance Man...but instead of feeling worldly, the rice and Tim Hortons (oh how I miss thee) just helped me transform faster into the fat caffeinated pig I was on the short road to becoming (go on Craig, you can sing 'Life is a Highway' now). And it wasn't fat in the the "My how you've CHANGED would you like another donut?!" kind of fat, I really just grew squishy handlebars for those select people to hold onto while riding me like a bicycle when I need to be reminded who my boss(es) were during my short stay on this spinning ball of melting ice.

I had a rough day today - sure I wasn't battling against the corruption of a murderous government headed by a tyrannical leader, and I had all the Bi Bim Bap I could eat- so hunger wasn't an issue, but a few kids screamed a lot- and that made me long for my tranquil days in the Sudan until a kid would slap me out of it and demand to go to the washroom for the 7th time.

But unlike the boy ("No! No! No!" kid) who ate some weird thing he found on the ground and felt ill soon after, I do have my health - and for that I am thankful.

Tomorrow after work we are going out for one of our monthly dinners where we must drink lots of SoJu or risk shame and exile (geek moment! Its very similar to a Star Trek: the Next Generation Episode where the Klingons all ritually turn their backs on a person). We have to eat lots of raw fish (not Sushi) which I'm not crazy about as I'm always worried about finding myself doing a number 3 endlessly on the can or the floor because of food poisoning (read the X-mas blog).



This weekend I may be going to a themed bar. The crafty Korean who thought of it knew he had to do something special to ensure the survival of his business (considering every establishment here also doubles as a bar) so instead of using more garish neon lights he found the next best attraction: Everything Hitler!

Apparently his whole operation is about the crazy adventures of old Adolf - with memorabilia, pictures, music. I heard its called simply, Hitler Bar.

Seig Hell Yeah!

Lost in Yeongdo-Gu

The murderous Mayor of Yeongdo-Gu - Euh Yoon-Tae


Not a terribly exciting weekend but still don't want it to be Monday tomorrow.

On Friday I heard that a huge US aircraft carrier had docked in the Busan Station area and spat out its 5,000+ horny, testosterone-fueled US soldiers onto the virginal face of Busan for the next week. Apparently last year when the ship was docked every bar was crammed and there were fights left, right, and center. Not that I go to the bars much anyways but it ensured that me and Kevin's date night would remain even more low-key than normal (we grabbed a pizza, some beer and watched a movie). It still got violent though as pizza makes Kevin aggressive, like a shark to blood Kevin always wants more pepperoni (insert joke about repressed man-love)

Saturday came and went. Nothing new.

Today I took the hour-long subway journey into the Busan Docks area as I wanted to go and take a picture of the aircraft carrier being the nerd I am. Trying to stay close to the docks and having no real clue where I was walking I ended up crossing some bridge and walking in the complete opposite direction from the International Market where I had also wanted to stop and look around. I was still near the water though so I figured if I kept walking that eventually I'd have a better chance at seeing the carrier anchored a long ways off. Nope!

Walking into Yeongdo-Gu over the Busan Grand Bridge (orange thing on the right) and still not putting together that I was leaving the "mainland".


Close-up of the closest thing I got to a ship.


Knowing I was lost I kept walking anyways assuming that I would eventually walk by a subway. Sure, I was on an island at this point but for some reason I'd convinced myself that there would be a subway anyways.

Stores hire these singing/dancing girls all the time to advertise their store. I walked by them when I first got lost and they were still dancing when I stumbled back 6 hours later. They are stronger than me (and look better in skirts)


Cherry Blossoms - they don't taste like cherries.


Long story short - I didn't see any aircraft carrier. I kept walking though because I was lost and it was such a nice day (nearly 20 degrees)...but after about 3 hours my feet hurt and I was hungry. I didn't want to turn around and walk back my same route again but the area was getting even more residential and there were hills everywhere, so like a degenerate gambler I finally cut my losses and began the long journey back the same way I came in but sweatier, hungrier, and without the whole reason why I came in the first place .

Islands off in the distance that you've seen from other photos, but from the other side and much closer (I can't explain it well so just shut the hell up okay? Okay!)


More cherry blossoms! Apparently the Koreans don't like them as they are too 'Japanese'.


My view walking. These houses are all almost on top of one another and snake up the side of the mountain.


When I came home and looked online where I actually went it turns out the 'island' is a tourist attraction and a completely separate "Gu" from mine. I live in Haeundae-Gu, and this place was called Yeongdo-Gu. It had natural hot springs (didn't find it) a pebble beach (where?!) and some restaurants (and I ate from that garbage?!)

The Map of my area. I added my own stuff. I live off in the upper right hand corner.


So that was my Sunday.

The island I was on is barely visible off in the far distance (taken from Jangsan Mountain last week)


This link is from the islands website. I kind of followed its path.
http://english.yeongdo.go.kr/culture_tourism/07_02.asp

Borka - Video

This is a video posted on YouTube all about the crazy older woman we know as 'Borka'. Only people from Oakville will really understand this - but the woman is 100% authentic and has been in almost every car in Oakville. With me I was often ordered to take her to "Ford" (meaning the Ford Auto Plant). Everybody in Oakville, young and old knows of the legend of Borka, it is why every person in Oakville usually locks their car doors.

Good job whoever made this.

Go to hell!

Hi!

So as I've mentioned before, if nothing has happened during the week then I don't bother to update this blog. But since its been 4 days, I thought I'd say a quick hello and keep you updated on the situation here in sunny South Korea (todays temperature was sunny and warm).

Works how it always is. The days where I walk in determined not to let the screaming kids get to me always have the reverse effect, with the kids determined to get to me. But as long as one of us is succeeding then all is not lost. And the other days where I start in a panic end up going well, with me usually getting candy (or half eaten stuff like chips and energy drinks).

For the older students I really do need to do some actual research outside of work so that I have some fun activities for them to work on, rather than just rehash the chapter of the book that they've been forced to take apart for the whole week until the students are hand-me-down'd to me. I am the hyena of the ESL world.

Haven't done much at night either. Even though I live in a building crawling with Korean 'escorts' and I've broad-casted my apartment number more than once, I always end up all alone at the end of the night eating spaghetti or some peanut-butter and banana sandwiches I've whipped up alone.

I've figured out how to download movies, so thats all good for those lonely peanut butter and banana nights. Don't have any plans for the weekend yet, but I really would like to take the overnight train into Seoul to see the DMZ some Saturday soon. And of course, there is always the weekend jump into the crazy pantie-fascinated country of Japan.

Saving money here is a lot harder than people told me it would be. Food is pretty expensive with a grapefruit often going for more than $2 - eating out isn't always an option as the meals are usually just a mixture of red pepper paste and rice, with one or two other things thrown in for color and variety. I don't go out much and I am barely... BARELY saving half my paycheck.

See I told you this blog would be boring! Well you can just go to hell!

Climbing to the top of Mount Jirisan and living to tell about it.

I wanted to do this blog with a whole Karate Kid tie-in, with me playing Daniel LaRusso (aka- the Karate Kid/Ralph Macchio) and the mountain being wise Mr. Miyagi. I even wasted an hour trying to paste my head onto the Karate Kids body - but to no avail. I even forgot why I was going to do it in the first place - most likely some kind of moral to run through the entire story - but seeing as my computer was being a dick with the cut and paste my head program I gave up on it. Hows that for a moral.

So I'll just highlight quickly (sleepy Ken!) what I actually did during my "climb Mount Jirisan" weekend.

Not Mount Jirisan.


For one, I didn't climb any mountains.

But first - We left pretty early Saturday morning - I had to get up at 6am and was not impressed at all. I met up with Blake (girl I work with at GnB) and some other of her friends who live nearby.

Blake and I. She's eating a smore.


Almost all of us had been recruited to South Korea by a really good, well recruiter named Amy Lee from kimnjoe.com (for anybody considering coming to South Korea...grandma?).

Amy Lee and I - giggidy!


Since there were 6 of us we split up and took 2 cabs to get to the place where everyone was meeting. My cabby had decided to give us my then-most terrifying taxi ride yet (very nauseating too) through small side streets at top speed - confident that he was taking us to the correct spot. Eventually it dawned on us (as we headed away from downtown) that he had not understood the English word 'subway' and was taking us to a 'train' station instead - at the last fork in the road where we would go horrible off course, our charades and sound effects mimicking a subway having failed miserably I suddenly recalled the Korean name for subway that I had just learned 2 days prior (the word is pronounced Gee-a-chul). I was eager to impress Blakes friends sitting in the backseat so I could call them my friends too.

You see, to everybody else it was St.Patrick's Day...the day to drink and be merry- but to me it St.Friendship day...the day to befriend and be loved.

Our bus. Uh...it was comfortable?


So we met up with everyone else - quick introductions - blah blah blah - bus-ride out of Busan blah blah blah - watched The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift and though it blew harder than my older brother Craig trying to score the donuts they throw out nightly at Tim Hortons - I was still very disappointed that I didn't get to see the ending when the DVD started to skip.

Our first stop - unbeknownst to us until we arrived - was some old style royal persons home (not palatial in size, but covering lots of ground) with a windmill and several different buildings. Very old Korean, and cool to see.





The scenery around was beautiful but as no one offered to take my picture (the 12 old Korean people preferred to watch me instead) use the old arm stretched out technique (or set the timer on my camera and run back alone to the desired spot).

I don't know why I took this photo. The little hut was unimpressive, but I am impressed with my blue eyes.




Later on I saw a costumed man in a beard and was going to shyly ask for a picture with him but the next thing I know hes ushered me inside some small room and begun preparations for some ancient tea ceremony. After turning off the electric kettle nearby he pulled some green tea out of an Emart box and placed some in a little teapot. He adjusted his glued on beard and waited for the tea to stew. Neither of us said a word. I told him his traditional Korean Hanbok was pretty. It somehow got even quieter after that



Very uncomfortable and eager to please I tried to engage him in some small talk - but he just kept saying "yes, yes" over and over again (which seems to be the universal response for 'I don't understand you and now we both feel awkward, nice job.') Eventually others from my tour group passed by and seeing as they were white he would suddenly break character (and develop English skills!) yelling loudly "get in here!" to them. So we had ourselves a little tea ceremony.

It looks like I'm saying in a very superior way, "No I did not just break wind, its the tea that smells funny actually."


Before I left I quietly asked him if the tea, aside from its hundreds of health benefits would also aid me in my quest for some friends. He affirmed this in his gruff Korean way by only saying, "yes, yes".

This was the first time I met the 2 Korean girls. In fact, I didn't even know they were on the trip with us until we got back on the bus and they followed.




After an hour or two longer on on the bus - with the occasional rest stop (where all you could buy to eat was small potatoes in a paper cup for some reason) I was informed that our next stop would be the International Wildflower Festival. Hurrah. I saw some violet weeds. A few guys and I (my new gang if I may be so bold) went around to look for a bathroom. We eventually found one, or someplace that was supposed to be one. Nothing like 4 guys peeing communally to solidify friendships.

Yeah - you try aiming perfectly as you can see its impossible.


It was when walking quickly back to the bus (we could hear Simpson banging his stick indicating that he wanted us to hurry) when one of my BFF's (Best Friends Forever) informed me that we wouldn't be climbing Jirisan mountain at all, as it would take 3 days just to make it worthwhile. Dammit. By the way, Simpson is Amy Lee's boss at the recruiting place - he was the one who picked me up at the airport when I first arrived.

A drunk guy nobody knew in our tour group almost threw poor Simpsons stick into a fire after Simpson went to sleep.


So off we went to some temple where the walk up to it took about 40 minutes and after staying all of 10 minutes Simpson declared that we had to hurry and go. I thought it was to get to another place before the sun went down, but someone (another BFF) explained that Simpson wanted to start drinking.

Lots of renovations.






So after unloading lots of beer I explored some of the cabins. The family who owns the property (they've had it for 300 years) rents it out for tourists and getaways and mass suicides and stuff.

The father/owner was ready to kill his poor wife because he felt that none of the pictures did him justice. This was the 7th shot, and since I saw her alive the next day I assume he was satisfied and only made her sleep with the chickens.


Stupid little girl, I should have hit her a few more times the way the father showed me.


Blakes large group of friends took over the largest cabin as everyone else was either on their own or in a couple. I like trying to sleep with couples in these situations because you can sandwich yourself in between them and refuse to feel like a 3rd wheel (think of it more as a kickstand). But since everyone was sleeping on the floor (heated of course, with blankets) and considering the one group of friends was so large, there ended up being no room for yours truly - so I made the never-wise decision to figure out where to sleep when I would cross that bridge much later for 'the less sober the less picky' I would be (as previous sleepovers have shown).

Some people outside- it was rainy.


Korean girls who were also with us on trip. Me rikey vely much!


After some drinking games, food, and a good time I found myself stumbling into one of the smaller cabins and lying directly onto the superheated floor in the corner by the door, for it was so dark and cramped with 4 other people that I had no hope in locating the one blanket and pillow I knew sat over the head of a rather large and loud snorer. I lay in the fetal position and waited for the sweet bliss of passing out to help me get some sleep.

Drinking game where you flip cups. I think it was fun.


Sleep did not come. The guy snored and groaned and farted, people moved around, dogs barked, and oh yes - I forgot to mention that somewhere on the property the family keeps a senile rooster that "cock-a-doodle-doo'd" every 30 minutes or so. Angry that I was shoved into the corner I partook in the only revenge I knew how. I farted a few times loudly - juvenile, but it made me feel better even if I was the only one who heard it. Well me and the Korean woman lying right next to me who aside from being directly near my butt and awake as well, also received 2 swift kicks to the head in the middle of the night (again by yours truly) the few times I did actually fall asleep. She informed me of my night noises the next day while I was insulting the large guy about his snoring (who in turn blamed me, then his wife, then the girl who I farted on)




Poo humor (I don't think its the poo jokes that get old, but rather the listener who forgets that to not find poo funny is to be old).

After downing 3 instant coffees the next day and embarrassed at my gassy nature I retreated to my cabins washroom to think. Always fascinated by buttons and impressed that this particular toilet seemed to be half robot judging by the automated armrest attached to it I got up and pressed some buttons to see what would happen. As luck would have it the buttons were completely in Korean so it was no surprise that after pressing one button I hit the one that translated to: "power clean anus with tepid jet water" - soaking the floor and my socks, but amusing me highly (yes I did sit on it after the initial test run).

We cleaned up the mess we made and gathered the 200 or so bottles and got on the bus around noon. We spent an hour at some weird festival where I used my camera to record a small bit with 2 transvestite Korean men singing songs and I saw a bullcow (I don't know what it was its the picture at the top). Lots of traffic later I got home. Well not until we took a taxi back who went 130km/h the entire way - the beeping from his cars automated "slow the #$%& down" rang the whole time.

More little stories happened but I'm tired and have to post a bunch of photos (20 of the 70 I took). I have to figure out how to actually post pictures on other websites (like Photobucket or Flickr). Anyways, more to come.

2nd weakest blog ever!

I apologize for yet another weak blog, but its pretty late here and I have to get up crazy early tomorrow as I'm going on some kind of a retreat/binge drinking weekend starting on Saturday.

The problem with posting with the frequency I do is twofold. Either I have to have an opinion that I care to share while believing that people (my family) care to listen, or I must have an exciting story to share that will actually justify my year-long 'sabbatical' to South Korea.

So since nothing much happened, nothing was written.

White Day (the lesser practiced virginal version of Valentines day) came faster than me at a high school dance (i.e.- me at age 26 crashing a high school dance)...it seems like just yesterday was Valentines day! I purposely arrived at work early on White Day so that the candies I bought (bulk packages of Snickers) for the 14 women I work with would seem very impressive. I'm sure the occasion was made more memorable as I handed out the candy declaring that I wanted the women to think of me while they had the sweet taste in their mouth. Nothing was lost in translation, I am still the office pervert. I also have a few Snickers left over to blackmail any of the unlucky women born with with a sweet-tooth.

On the work front this week - the class with the loud tiny kids (who threw the pencils at me a few weeks ago) surprised me. After a near bloody brawl a couple days prior involving a psychotic 5 year old, a pair of rusty kids scissors and some adult Korean threats I still decided to bring scissors into the same classroom in order to 'shorten' time with an activity. Worried that the semi-retarded kid would plunge the scissors into my jugular whilst I gazed longingly out the window I constantly monitored the activity from the window outside the classroom - forgetting to actually explain the exercise. It was one of those cut and paste activities where there is a paper blueprint that you have to cut around, fold and eventually (should you be smart enough) construct a 3-dimensional cube. Figuring that the kids would be occupied for an hour I was pleasantly annoyed (no typo) that the 'special' kid was the only one to actually get his done, and in only 5 minutes. Mind you, that left 40 minutes for him to yell "no! no! no!" while threatening me with his scissors that he refused to relinquish.

Saw the movie 300 in my first Korean theater last night. Not only do you get assigned seating (in these plush seats), but the actual theater itself is so loud that your ears bleed, and the theater also seems to encourage one to buy anything they should fancy at the convenence store located next to the concession stand.

Don't bother seeing the movie, it blows harder more than my older brother at exam time.

The trip I am going on is out of Busan and takes about 2 hour + by bus. It was organized by my recruiter so about 28 other people are coming too.

I'll take some pictures and let you know how it was on Sunday.

Exciting News!

Okay, 4 cool things to speak of:

1- I bought a toaster oven
2- I found the cereal Fruit Loops at a store nearby and have been eating them in the middle of the night whenever I wake up
3- I bought some cinnamon called "Saigon Cinnamon" (those goddamn Charlies never tasted so sweet)
4- I discovered that I've grown some new chest hair

the Ken who cried Mountain!

Not a great deal has happened since Wednesday. At school I was loaded with classes all week because another teacher had gone on vacation to Thailand, so the week dragged by. Kids were rude to me so I tried to assign them homework as punishment but they 'didn't understand'...young kids cried, I cried - a few threw up, I threw up and finally Friday arrived...date night with Kevin! (more crying, puking, and rudeness).

We went to our regular grill-house, ate some meat that may have been the meat we ordered or more likely may not have but we paid for the more expensive one in the end like we did the week before (do you follow me?). Though I found the whole situation funny as hell, I think we'll go somewhere else next time.

This is the building I work at - GnB is the 4th floor, where all the magic happens. the building is directly across the street from my apartment. hurrah!


So Kevin went home right after and date night ended how it always does - with me at home alone stuffing my face with Pringles and chocolate trying to think of easier ways for Kevin to fully become the temporary substitute for Sophia that I need him to be.

As many of you know I am a 'talker' and not a 'walker' a really bad trait that has crossed into many areas of my life over the past few years. From 'talking' about never drinking again to 'talking' about directing film to 'talking' about becoming a 'walker' and not a 'talker' - I say it and never do it. Much like the fed-up townspeople in the classic fable 'The boy who cried Wolf' those around me just wanted me to shut up and get eaten by a rabid animal.

So something I have been 'talking' about doing over the past couple of months has been my boast that I will scale the highest mountain in Busan, the dreaded and feared Mount Jangsan.

Right outside my apartment looking towards the angry mountain


Usually the conversation about me climbing goes something like this:

Person- So what are you doing Saturday Ken?

Ken- (casually)...probably gonna pack me a lunch and feed it to Mount Jangsan.

Person- Huh?

Ken- Thats right, I'm going to climb Mount Jangsan tomorrow morning. Impressed yet?

Person- Good for you, make sure you bring lots of water.

Ken- For what?

Person- The mountain climb.

Ken- I don't follow - i just said I was going to climb the mountain.

Person- Yeah thats what I'm saying...tomorrow morning your going to climb -

Ken- (angry) Don't put words in my mouth! This conversation is over...asshole!

So long blog short I woke up earlier than I planned and ended up packing a banana, some water, and mixing together what remained in my fridge (a can of tuna and some old kimchi) before heading off. It was a colder day than usual (heavier sweatshirt as opposed to a lighter one) but I was just glad to be walking. Approaching the base of the mountain I took the wide path that was newly paved with a gentle incline assuming that it was the path to the peak. Large groups of people passed in the opposite direction as they headed away from the mountain, many with small kids in tow. I began to worry that if small children could climb this 'feared' mountain than maybe the climb wouldn't be worth it. I could just go home and look at mountains on the internet!

This is the view back on my neighborhood (facing away from the terrible mountain).


I managed to take this photo by levitating above the traffic below. It was impressive.


A Buddhist temple located near the bottom of the mountain.


I didn't get the chance to climb to the peak right away for I had taken 'the road most traveled' and ended up an hour and a half later right back to where I had started and the last place I wanted to be. Dammit I thought it looked familiar.

Metaphor anyone?

Confused, annoyed, and surprisingly tired I decided that since it would be dark soon (it was nearing 1pm) that I would call it a day and perhaps scale the mountain on Sunday.

Just as I walking dejectedly away I saw through the brush several meters away a couple of older people with their little ski poles heading up a steep slope.

This slope is actually quite steep I didn't think to level the camera, but instead just looked up. You had to lean into the path to climb it, hence why everyone save for me had little ski poles to help them.


Though Korea is usually regarded as the 'SoJu' country or the 'Kimchi' country - many forget that its also an 'old people are in good shape' country as well. Through long daily walks and weekly mountain climbs a large majority of 65+ Koreans are in great physical health. Knowing that the older people wouldn't bring along thier ski poles for no reason I deduced that they must be climbing for the peak as well. After seeing this sign, I knew where I was to go.

That Hangul at the top phonetically spells out Jang San


About 45 minutes into the climb I was dripping with sweat and winded like an asthmatic prostitute running from her pimp. The first spot I had chosen to sit at had a nice view of Busan so I sat there for a few minutes and wondered whether I should continue to climb or not. I mean, how much better could the view be?

What did I tell you? Winded like an asthmatic...


An older Korean gentlemen passing by me moments after I took this photo and using his ski pole gestured upwards saying "keep going white man, the view is better up there", or "race you to the top cracker". So I scrambled by him (pushing him down the hill in the process) and climbed for another 45 minutes or so eventually arriving at 'a' peak - enjoying the view and a job well done.

Looking down on Haeundae (Jwa Dong) the surrounding area and the coast (the East Sea)




yeah - so I wear this shirt in every photo wanna fight?


Or not done. After turning around to make my way back down I saw that I was indeed on a peak - just not the peak of Mount Jangsan. To give you an idea of where I was imagine placing a dime in front of a loonie (the loonie being the actual peak, the peak I was on as the dime).

This was taken from the actual peak looking down onto where I first thought the peak was, it is quite a distance away. I think this is the right photo.


Having gone this far I ate my kimchi/tuna mix to the delight and disgust of some nearby Koreans and kept climbing. Stopping several times to catch my breath I eventually made it to the top. Yay.

Being the highest point in the world (Busan at least), this tower means I reached the top. I am a big boy...a big boy with acne.


Look at that sweet ass...you can see the white bridge off in the distance


I need new jeans and shoes. Oh yeah, the view is nice.


Walking around the top of the peak facing in another direction (towards Seoul maybe?)


After taking some pictures I wandered further off the path, being careful not to wander too far into the active military look-out sitting behind a heavily guarded bar-wire fence nearby.

Well, I wandered into one but it didn't look very busy - I see you Japanese soldiers!


More of Busan


The peak was high enough that there was ice. I managed to slip on it.


Recalling/imagining that I'd heard a story about there being a tourist cafe on the top of Mount Jangsan (SoJu does this to a person) I wandered through a HUGE hole in the barb wire and down a road before I came across this sign.

....mines eh?...just my foot will get blown off right? Anyo Haseyo? Anyone?


Wetting myself with what remaining liquid had not been sweat out I turned around and slowly made my way back to safety.

With my legs feeling extremely jellyish I started to make my way down the mountain again with absolutely no energy left. Even though I was going down it was still really difficult as you had to slide/jump from rock to rock, or tree to tree so you wouldn't allow gravity to kill you.

I took this photo on the way up (much steeper in real life)


Resting about halfway down an older Korean man came up and said 'hello' to me. Not wanting to talk to him I just mumbled 'hello' and wished him away. But he stayed and he declared that aside from being an English teacher at the local high school that him and I were going to walk down the remaining way together and talk.

So thats what we did. Though he corrected me on my improper use of English occasionally I ended up having a nice talk with him.

After I got home I had about 5 minutes until I was to leave so Kevin and I could have some naked fun spa time!

It was in a Spa. We were Naked. And it was Fun.

Saturday blog

uh...I'm tired after having a few beers (its 2:30am!) so figured I'd just post a blog tomorrow - Sunday with pictures and stuff. Just thought you'd want to know.

Bye!

Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

I'm not supposed to be negative in these blogs, so I'll throw in a positive comment to counter-balance them.

First class of the day was that 'free' class I had last week where the kids threw crayons at me. Today wasn't much better - instead they were throwing them at each other and using them as little daggers when tempers were flaring, they also stole the crayons that I'd lent them leaving the school with a couple of broken crayons for 100 kids. My only task for the hour was to teach them to say "I wear socks" and I couldn't do it.

"I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man that had no feet"
- Ancient Persian Proverb.

I went to the staff room after class - breathed a heavy sigh and managed to let it go.

The class I had immediately after has always been notorious for openly groaning and complaining and whining. Today was no different.

Hmmm....openly groaning? complaining? whining? Its my blog!

Next hour was split into 2 hectic 25-minute classes (like the other earlier class these children are all about 4-5 years old) I retreated to the staff room directly after to do some breathing exercises and indulge in the chocolate I have in my drawer for such emergencies.

Just as I was about to complain to a fellow co-worker about how my day was going (think of the scene in "the Princess Bride" where Wesley is getting tortured in the Pit of Despair) a little girl whom I've never seen before came up and gave me a large lollipop - smiled and walked off. At the time I couldn't help but think to myself, 'dammit the world is funny sometimes' - but as I sucked on the lolly and ended up saying nothing to my coworker I realized that if it (the lollipop) was sent from up above, I was being told either A) If your gonna act like a kid and wet yourself whenever you get upset then here's some candy so you can eat like a kid too...or B) Here's a sucker - now shut the hell up.

I think it was B.

I took this twice and kept getting Fezzik.


Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

I had 2 classes remaining in the day, both higher level - one was 2 hours long and we spent the first hour discussing what a deserted island was and how to write an SOS letter in a bottle. For the 2nd hour I prepared slightly more than I did the other day when I was told to stretch 1 chapter into 2 classes so I had the students write what their SOS letters would say should they find themselves stranded on a deserted island. 5 out of the 6 kids used a terrorist blowing up the plane as to how they became stranded - and each was funnier than the next (one terrorist made the pilot eat the bomb before detonating it).

uh..........bye!

I've fallen and I can't get up!

There was a great quote I once read by George Bernard Shaw where he quipped, "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not."

With the school that I work at, you are usually given about 1 'prep' period a day. This is so the teachers will prepare for their next classes, mark diaries, daydream, etc. Usually I just write my own diary on some toilet paper and have a fellow English teacher mark it for grammar and spelling- often getting back notes like "whats wrong with you?", and "stop smelling your fingers so much and then writing about it- its sick". I had no time for leisure today though, as I was bombarded with classes all day. 7 of them in a 6-hour period.

I had one class with little 'fish-eyes' (a young girl with eyes on the side of her head) and about 9 other "first-level" ones in a 25-minutes Phonics class (today we learned the difference between the letters 'P', 'B', 'T', and 'V'). Because of my severely limited vocabulary and being deprived of oxygen just moments too long on my way into this crazy world, I kjust couldn't think of good words for P, T, B, and V (other than body parts that they'll learn about one day obviously) so instead hammered words like Bus and Pencil to them over and over again. One word, paper, was consistently being garbled by one student but i couldn't tell who- so being the professional I am, I cornered each one and made them say it to me so I could catch the evil-doer red-handed, instead I caught them pink-tongued!

One girl, by far the oldest girl in the class by a few years and not 'slow' in any way had been chewing her highlighter until it exploded. After leaking all over her shirt, she apparently enjoyed the taste so much that she sucked out all the remaining bright fluorescent pink ink until she was satisfied, and most likely quite poisoned. I laughed like a schoolgirl when I saw this, even though she was oblivious as to why (I think old fish-eyes had an inkling what was going on thanks to her mutant vision). Five minutes later and still giggling, I laughed even harder when one boy kept saying "shitting" instead of "sitting". I tried once to correct him, but then just gave up and encouraged him to use the word "shit" in any sentence he could. "I will shit on my chair and be quiet or I will have to go shit on the floor outside where everyone will see me shitting and not speaking English".

I got my just desserts for my immaturity when with an older almost-fluent class later in the day I was forced to actually use my head - the class lesson was on how to call 'emergency' (119 here just so you know) and then indicate your problem "a big orange tiger just tried to rip my leg off." was one long-time GnB students suggestion. Sweating profusely at having to stretch the hour with my remedial English skills I barely managed to avoid a mutiny and was quite relieved at the end of class- having completed the chapter and beat it to death in about 20 minutes. After throwing a "So Long!" to them while I walked out the door to what I believed was a Prep period, a student informed me that I was to teach them for 2 hours today and 2 hours on Wednesday for the month. Shocked and panicked I asked the head teacher if this was true and she explained that they are an English-only class (no Korean teacher)- and that I was to stretch that 1 chapter further into another hour.

Lets just say the next hour was spent on more emergency phone call scenarios and then putting them in the proper tense - past, present, future.

-I've fallen and I can't get up
-I'm falling and I probably won't be able to get up
-I will fall so come soon.

Long day to say the least, and as Kevin mentioned in his blog it is much harder to prolong a class with nothing to teach than it is to teach something. And unlike Kevin I've already used up all of my games, crosswords, and illusions ('now did I really just crap myself...or do you just think you can smell feces?').

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
-George Bernard Shaw

Wanted 1 friend: Must like beer and chicken.

Nothing new to talk about but I haven't updated since Thursday so uh...uh....

I joined some kind of online thing called Facebook the other day which is a much better version of MySpace - and suddenly I am seeing all these people from high school, around Toronto, South Korea. So yeah, I wasted about 4 hours on that.

Moving on...

After working out I decided to walk around the downtown area of Haeundae-Gu, my neighborhood here in Korea. I walked by a whole bunch of hotels, darting in and out of alleys and I soon realized that many of the hotels specialized in servicing the wealthy businessmen who frequent the area (Bush stayed in a really nice one nearby). The ones I am specifically talking about though have large pictures of the insides of their rooms on walls outside on the street. Aside from massive 60+ inch TV's and automated mirrors each room also had a state-of-the-art video camera pointed at the bed (with bedside remote control). Walking away I couldn't help but think 'why would someone want to film themselves sleeping?'

Spoken like a true virgin.

On the beach a bit later, the neon from the nearby hotels cast a nice red and blue light over the whole area. There were about a hundred older people all with little makeshift shrines right near the water (built carefully with sand and cardboard to protect from the wind)- burning incense over dozens of candles and praying outwards towards the sea. For a minute or two I watched, smelled the air and couldn't help but think how beautiful the whole thing was, and the sense of calm I had - soon though I had to fight the desperate urge to go and kick over all of their little sand castle shrines and run off happily into the night.

Continuing on my little date with myself I walked down an alley where there was a small market that specialized in selling live fish...well, killing them and gutting them and selling their alive-just-moments-before fish parts. I watched one gigantic ugly thing get yanked out of the water (its expression looked like it was shocked), and with a quick precision cut his guts pulled out while it looked at me with its mouth slowly opening and closing. Since it wasn't a sweet little dog I didn't mind.

Stupid ugly fish.

Walking back a couple of hours later into my neighborhood I stopped by the local grocery store and was surprised to see it packed with families. Annoyed that I would have to eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches for dinner again I began to think about other things that bugged me (getting lice twice when I was younger for example) and naturally work came up and some of the students that caused me to wet myself in anger/fear. Just as I turned to leave I heard a small "Ken sam!", which means 'Ken- Teacher' in English- students always address you by a title (I would have preferred Lord or Senor, but beggars can't be choosers). It was one of my older students, her little brother (who I also teach) and their shy mother. I introduced myself to her, made horrible idle chatter (speaking waaaay too fast) while they just stared at me (I half-expected them to give me their groceries out of duty) and bid them good-night. Smiles were still all around - and I thought, "well that was nice and unexpected...but they were 2 of my good students, now all the other ones they make me really wanna...".

And just as I was thinking about a few I didn't like, 2 of them magically materialized in front of me (like the life-saving Porta Potty in Seoul for Kevin). Usually it is quite common when a student sees you on the street that they ignore you as if their lives depended on it but the first boy came up with huge smile, high-fived me and ran off - the other one (who I now know is the other ones little brother), a cute little guy who I yelled at the other day for screaming in class broke away from his family and ran up to me just to pretend to punch me in the stomach a few times, giggling wildly before running off while yelling "Hi Ken!" over his shoulder, (he forgot that he was supposed to say 'Bye' instead).

I'll yell at him on Monday for that one.