Leaving for the DMZ

Today I have been dating my beautiful girlfriend Sophia for a ball-crunching 5 years. Since I am not in Canada to wine and dine her and generally devote the whole day to her happiness, I am going to do the next best thing by escorting girlfriend #2 Kevin (of Naked Fun Spa Time fame) all the way up past Seoul to check out whats really going on in the DMZ (the Demilitarized Zone - or Dangerous Machinegun Zone).



This particular tour is led by the USO (United States Organization)- so many foreigners here won't go on this tour because they believe that by doing so they are directly supporting the war effort. When confronted with this I usually stare blankly at the accuser until they realize that they have just spoken to the least-informed person in the world, and wasted valuable air telling me their radical feelings.



We are leaving by slow-train tonight (Friday) at 11pm and about 5 1/2 hours later will arrive at Seoul Station. After grabbing a coffee I will then for my own safety (and modesty) have to take refuge in the bathroom where I will undergo a radical transformation from the sleek, hip dynamo look (spiky-haired jogging-pants loving bum) to a conservative (and politically informed!) young man. Included with the directions and such from the USO was a list of forbidden 'things' such as: no denim of any type (it is like Kryptonite to the North Koreans), no t-shirts, no jogging pants (dammit!), no running shoes, etc. Also, in section 2 it states: "In addition, shaggy or unkempt hair, or faddish hairstyles and colors, excessive body piercing, etc. are not permitted."

Uh-oh!

Having tossed my khakis years ago along with my various turtlenecks I guess I'll have to wear some black dress pants and a dress shirt (but I will leave a few buttons opened as an act of sexy defiance a la "Make love, nor War") and some dress shoes which won't be of much help when we enter into the tunnels of aggression (more on that when I return!)



If I return of course.